Miss, Mrs... no. It's Ms van Dyke to You.

 

"Bitch, please... don't call me 'Miss'..."

I reckon that the only reason I got myself ordained as a reverend (over the internet, it has to be said - not so much legit) was purely because I got tired of people calling me 'Mrs' or 'Miss', despite me making it clear that my preferred title is Ms.

Now something like this shouldn't be an issue, and I am sure that people will say I am being petty. After all, what's in a name, right?

The most entertaining part about insisting on being called 'Ms' is the amount of times people will actually argue with me about it.

The first time I used the title was when I opened a bank account. The lady behind the counter looked at the form I filled in and asked, "You marked the box 'Ms'."

Me: "Yes, that's right"

Bank Lady: "But you also ticked the box that says 'single'"

Me, confused: "Yes... that's right."

Bank Lady: "But you only use 'Ms' if you're divorced..."

Oh boy. Poor Bank Lady. I gave her a loud and impromptu lesson in feminism. Because, you see, I use the title 'Ms' for feminist reasons. Surprise, surprise - calling yourself 'Ms' has nothing whatsoever to do with one's marital status nor sexuality. In fact, the term was in fashionable use in the 17th Century. (Seriously. It was.)

Back in the day, 'Miss' referred to those ladies who were unmarried. 'Mrs' referred to those who were. 'Ms', on the other hand, doesn't reveal one's marital status. Kind of like 'Mr'. (See where I am going with this?)

The term fell into disuse, but was later resurrected because sometimes, writers of letters wouldn't know if the woman they were writing to were married or not, so 'Ms' became a convenient solution. And of course, the feminists eagerly adopted use of the term during the women's liberation movement for obvious reasons.

To me, personally, 'Ms' means that I don't belong to a man, I belong to myself.

And still, the bank does not get it right. I keep ticking the 'Ms' box, and my statements still get sent to 'Mrs'. It's as though the whole idea of 'Ms' fries the bank's data capturer's brains and there's a short circuit that leads directly to 'Mrs'. After all, I have ticked the 'married' box too.